==> ENTER NAME
Your name is JAKE ENGLISH and you are going through a midlife crisis.
You are sitting in the one place you vowed never to step foot in as long as you were alive and breathing on this earth while cradling a box of premium tissues given to you lovingly by Kanaya, and sporting a bloody nose not so lovingly given to you by the love of your life.
Yeah. Things are not going so well for you right now. And you are also getting blood on your shirt.
==> JAKE. Stare lovingly at your new object of undying affection.